Dear Logan Airport Holiday Inn:
Many thanks for the warm welcome you extended to me last night. I particularly admired the way you’ve chosen to conserve fuel by operating your shuttle vans on a sharply reduced schedule, and the way you’ve chosen to conserve communications bandwidth by not telling anyone. This morning’s Continental Breakfast easily surpassed anything one could claw from the unforgiving earth while trapped in a tiger pit. And the dull, vacant stares of your front desk staff served as a stirring reminder that there is a place in the American work force even for those with no empathy, training or rudimentary communications skills. Rest assured that I will frequent your establishment again, just as soon as the earth plunges into the sun and every other hotel on the planet is reduced to molten lava.
Sincerely,
Bill Barol